Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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