it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
