Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Everything about him screamed your future.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
