All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
