i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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