He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
