we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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