There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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