I am puke
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
