I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
