the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so let's talk penis.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
