Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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