There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
