just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
two words...techno handjob
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
