Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
