where am i from again
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
