some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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