my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize