how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
