May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
