The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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