Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dignity is for republicans.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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