Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
