fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
