Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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