After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
