Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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