i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
