I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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