SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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