You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
