i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
