I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Michael Bay diarrhea
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
