so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
