but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
