If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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