My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
