Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
