So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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