If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
