Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
