ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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