hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize