in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
