You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
