I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
