Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
