There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
