I will die if light touches me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
