Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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