and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
