I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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