youre lurking in front of me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
