you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Houston, we have a blender
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
