so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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