wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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