sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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