Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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