I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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