I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
