my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
